“Nothing changes you better than the questions asked of yourself.” – I often say, but let me quickly complete it: Nothing changes you more than those questions that are asked of yourself out of routine, that is, those questions that are not the usual ones, even sometimes seem paradoxical. Why are they so important?
Questions Raise Attention,
then They Direct Focus
& as we know well:
Focus is followed by Energy.
The crux of the matter is that we do keep asking questions, – some 20 thousands every day – but they are the same, and our answers are the same, as well. If the answers are the same, the actions are also the same. If the actions are the same you will get the same result. And this is, how you end up with something that justifies your believes: things cannot change, cannot improve, the world is this wicked, and the universe conspires against you… Let me tell you it in other words:
If you always do what you have always done
you will always get what you have always got
and there is always more. (NLP)
Consequently, to get that “more” you must ask different questions. For example: Instead of “Why”am I so broke? – ask: “How” could I be much better off? When you are stating: “Nobody loves me.”Ask: “Who” is nobody? “What” is LOVE like for me? “How would it feel to be liked?” etc.
Stop and think about that: you are looking for something in your browser. What will you get if you type in some words, and how different will the results be if you change just one of the words, or even just some letters! This is same in life! So, be very careful what you ask!
Creative and/or crazy questions also help. Learn from kids: they haven’t been brainwashed totally yet, to see and interpret the world “this way”. They often have a very good sense of smell of discrepancies, like: “How do we know there are no two identical snowflakes if we haven’t checked them all?” or: “Why is parking available for disabled before the ice rink?” etc. Jokes have the same effect: you expect a kind of answer, but you get a funnily twisted one. How could you apply it to your own life? Reframe the situations, that is put the things in different lights to recognise howto get “more”!
In CrisisCoaching Self-Coaching Card Game
there are 66 cards with different topics,
and for each one there are 10-15 questions that you can ask yourself,
that altogether is around 1000 questions!
This card game requires commitment, maturity, honesty, integrity, and readiness to look behind your blind-spots. It is strongly advised that you play it with someone wise, who is ready to comfortyou in a non-judgemental and caring way to help you.
NOTE THAT I am also available to play it with you or in a group of people to ensure that your answers go much more deep then how our culture teaches you and expects your answers: just to scratch the surface.